Well, today didnt really turnout to be replay after all. Its strange how much changes in our lives in lets say a week. Look at pst week and the week before that, so many people we met so much changed but still mind gives an impression of everlasting present. Anyways I woke up with bad headache which is usual these days. I popped in a pill with two glasses of water and decided to call in sick at work. Well not really a lie. Her thoughts were still lingering and I could remember sending her a message in a convoluted manner last night. Mind was already playing soccer with me and I wasnt even awake. Felt like its gonna be another agonizingly long day. I got out for customary morning coffee though it was already after noon. Shaila was there alright with my extra sweet coffee. The world was moving around me with its tuesday afternoon indifference. It was cloudy but not so dark. I parked the car on the street and smoked the first cigarette of the day which sipping Shaila's coffee. The line of autumn trees with the still parked cars on the street gave a feeling of hybernation. It would have been good if we could also hybernate for few months in an year.
I went back for a nap with my mind already tired of the game. Dreams were fiery as is usual these days. A single glimpse of her wakes me up. I meditated for a while trying not to get overwhelmed by the sensations. After all fear love hate joy everything is a sensation only. We fall in love with them and get to hate them which is the root of all problems in my opinion. It doesnt help my situation though...
I got up again pretty late, went out for a sandwich and now I am off to watch Inland Empire. David Lynch is the best and I heard its a long one so killing time this evening would not be an issue.
So long invisible spectators...